First of all, thanks to friends who send encourage words to me. I'm appreciate it but i still can't walk out from the sadness although i know is time to let her go.
I don't know why i need to bare and face the fact that another person who i like ,left me. The feeling is terrible when I still haven't walk out from the sadness i face in feb and june,another sadness came push me down to darkness.
The pain get so pain till i start to feel numb.
The past few days in the funeral , i didn't cry much as because if i cried, my mum and my aunts will cried even more. (will explain more in my next post once i finish writting it)To prevent this, i told myself to be strong so that i can support my mum but some how or rather, the tears kept in my broken heart for too long till my mind and heart start to go wrong.
I think i having some depression....
I can eat and sleep well but Sometime i feel like crying or cried even at work or travel from one place to another. I don't really wish to talk to friends and my temper get worst and worst.
so to my friends , if my words some how make you angry, plz forgive me...

Also i have to deeply apologise and felt sorry for edmund, my poly classmate. His dad pass away 3 days ago..and i unable to attend the wake because i scare i will break down...
seriously speaking.. i numb and utterly dislike to attend wake or funeral... (sorry to say that) coz i have enough of it...really..
I just cannot bare the whole process
just cannot take it.
I'm just too weak... really weak..
I may look strong but my heart now is cold...is numb ...and emotion unstable
so please......
please...
i wish, i hope , i pray i don't attend any more wake or funeral..
我的精神不可以承受一次有一次的打击。。。。。
已经到了我可以承受的极限。。。。


PS: to my dear friends... if you are easily depress or get emo... try not to read my blog...
By right i want to make my blog a loving and cheerful blog... but some how .... it turn to a blog for me to release my sadness ..
to express my feeling to the ppl who leave me..
i don't wish my blog will affect ppl feeling too... so ya... sorry if i do affect ur feeling..